I, too, fear Putin

From: Cynthia Williams <[email protected]>
Date: January 30, 2015 at 7:21:15 AM GMT-8
Subject: The delivery status.

How are you there

I am disappointed for the trouble but i am informing you concerning the documents that have been mailed.. Afraid of passing reports about Putin, they are making me to realize that i’m a bit scared… I’m very sorry but I am almost delayed with my sister’s funeral, so I didn’t remember calling you. Anyway, my homestead is now totally in the process of reworking and i moved to a nearby place with my rats. Wow, but i am wondering is it a dry day so far South? Have you received the parcel?

Much obliged
Cynthia Williams

Dear Cynthia,

I fear a regime that forces rats to relocate. And what of your wet climate to the north? Did your sister mail me a parcel before her untimely passing? Are you writing me from the past or the future? Do you & your rats have umbrellas where you live or has Putin forced you to travel in the rain without protection? I am enclosing contraband instructions on how to construct umbrellas from simple materials that may be purchased from your neighborhood hardware or craft store. Please share them with your friends — especially with your disenfranchised rodents. The umbrella revolution is only the beginning.

yours in solidarity,
Comrade Nefastis