good night, John-Boy
Date: Tue, 17 Feb 2015 23:13:38 +0900
From: <[email protected]>
To: <[email protected]>
Reply-To: <[email protected]>
Subject:
ORGANIZATION: Mrs. Christy Walton
My Dearest,
Greetings to you my Dear Beloved, I am Mrs Christy Walton, a
great citizen of United State. I bring to you a proposal worth
$9,000,000,000.00 which i intend to use for CHARITY. I am happy to know
you, but God knows you better and he knows why he has directed me to you
at this point in time so do not be afraid. i saw your e-mail contact at
ministries of commerce and foreign trade departments. i am writing this
mail to you with heavy sorrow in my heart, It is painful now to let you
know that I have been suffering from a Heart disease for the past 22 years
and just few weeks ago my Doctor told me that I won’t survive the illness.
my name is Mrs. Christy Walton a great citizen of United States of America,
and am contacting you because i don’t have any other option than to tell
you as i was touched to open up to you about my project. Please reply me
back if you are interested, so i can provide you with further details.God Bless You.
Please reply me back if you are interested, so i can provide you with further
details.sincerely
Mrs. Christy Walton
Dearest Mrs. Walton,
Perhaps Providence has seen fit to unite us. I am, in fact, the great grandson of the late John “John-Boy” Walton, Jr., whose life and family were memorialized in Earl Hamner, Jr’s book, Spencer’s Mountain, the film it inspired, and the nine season series of riveting television material that it in turn inspired. I have, in fact, been doing God’s work through the United States embassy here in Djibouti, Djibouti. If you are not familiar with the country of my current residence, it may help ease the confusion to know that Djibouti is both the name of the capital city and the country. This has prompted some — especially the heathens that edit Wikipedia — to refer to it as Djibouti City but the locals and expats have our own series of nicknames. Here is but a small sample; Djibouti Squared, Dee Jay Sit-tay, and my current favorite that the young kids are using these days, Dee to the Jay to the ooty-Bay.
Having come from a proud family of bit miners who are themselves descended from a proud family of dirt farmers, I think I have an idea on how we can spend the nine billion dollars you have at your disposal. In the local dance clubs, the acts of Scrillex, deadmau5 (pronounced DEAD-mouse, dear Lord!), Glitch Mob, and Daft Punk have invigorated the Djibouti dance hall scene and inspired several local DJs to publish their own music internationally through our fledgling link to the Internets. However, I have taken inspiration from the citizens of Christmas Island who long ago sold their country’s top-level domain name, .cx, to infuse cash in to their country and enable spam moguls worldwide by providing another outlet through which to work their dark craft. My goals are much simpler, less evil, and you’ll soon see just how this could actually be a big win for all parties involved.
Djibouti’s top level Internet domain is dot DJ (q.v. the heathen Wikipedia’s entry on “Country code top-level domain”). How much do you think that these rich young men, Scrillex, deadmau5, et al would be willing to pay for their own vanity domain such as scrillex.dj, deadmau5.dj, glitchmob.dj, hestherapperimthe.dj, et cetera? As you can likely see by now, this cash cow will surely milk itself. God him/herself will smile upon our bank accounts.
Also, I am discouraged to hear that the antioxidant formula of dung beetle juice and nettle extract that I sold to you last year did not properly treat your heart disease. I am a man of my word, however, and my money back guarantee will help you through this rough patch. I will be issuing you a full refund by money order once you send me the first ten percent of the nine billion dollars you have promised for the dot Dee-Jay business I have proposed herein.
yours by the grace of God,
John “John-Boy” Walton the Fifth, Esquire
