underwater ninja
Me — Friday, 13 05:56 PM
Hi! How’s your winter so far? I’ve kept pretty busy… What do you like to do in your spare time?
Betty Lian — Friday, 13 05:58 PM
i love hanging out
Me — Friday, 13 06:18 PM
I have to admit I don’t know much about Ashwood. How long have you lived there?
Betty Lian — Friday, 13 06:20 PM
i just moved there as well
Me — Friday, 13 06:22 PM
from elsewhere in Oregon?
Betty Lian — Friday, 13 06:24 PM
no ashwood
Me — Friday, 13 06:26 PM
how’d you decide to move there if I may ask?
Betty Lian — Friday, 13 06:27 PM
cause i love to change location to see how another state is
Me — Friday, 13 06:58 PM
what else do you like to do in your spare time?
Betty Lian — Friday, 13 06:59 PM
going to beach
Me — Friday, 13 07:00 PM
what are the beach towns you’ve been to so far?
Me — Friday, 13 07:01 PM
in Oregon or nearby…
Betty Lian — Friday, 13 07:01 PM
nothing since i am in oregon
Me — Saturday, 14 08:30 AM
so where did you live before moving to Oregon?
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 08:30 AM
i am living in NEW YORK buffalo
Me — Saturday, 14 08:31 AM
oh?
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 08:32 AM
yeah
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 08:32 AM
and you
Me — Saturday, 14 08:34 AM
Portland, Oregon
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 08:34 AM
okay i am not far from you i think which side in portland
Me — Saturday, 14 08:47 AM
SE
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 08:47 AM
okay
Me — Saturday, 14 08:55 AM
are you in town this weekend?
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:13 AM
hhmmmm i think cause i want go and give mom some money in LA
Me — Saturday, 14 09:15 AM
okay
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:16 AM
so why do you ask do you need some visit ?
Me — Saturday, 14 09:18 AM
I always like to meet new people
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:19 AM
okay great
Me — Saturday, 14 09:20 AM
how about you?
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:21 AM
and me as well
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:23 AM
if i ask for help will you do it for me now
Me — Saturday, 14 09:24 AM
what kind of help?
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:25 AM
i need 100dollars can you help me with that
Me — Saturday, 14 09:27 AM
sorry, I can’t
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:27 AM
why please
Me — Saturday, 14 09:29 AM
I only loan money to people I’ve met in person & known for a long time. I give charities sometimes when I can but that’s the only exception.
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:30 AM
i know how you feel wehn i ask okay but just help me
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:30 AM
please
Me — Saturday, 14 09:32 AM
aren’t you a fashion designer with a reasonable income?
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:32 AM
yes but my voss is in india now that why i ask for help
Me — Saturday, 14 09:34 AM
you should read my profile some time.
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:36 AM
i will but help me
Me — Saturday, 14 09:39 AM
Western Union requires recipient’s first & last name plus city & country where you’ll be picking it up. Send me those and I’ll think about it.
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:40 AM
Okay i will give my uncle info now because my id is expired
Me — Saturday, 14 09:40 AM
okay
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:42 AM
Okay, so when will you be sending
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:43 AM
??
???
Me — Saturday, 14 09:43 AM
I can stop by a WU office later today but will need your info first because I will be offline then.
Me — Saturday, 14 09:44 AM
in about 2-3 hours
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 09:44 AM
Okay, can i have your cell phone number maybe i can text you with it
Me — Saturday, 14 09:46 AM
I can’t get texts – my only phone is the hallway phone in the halfway house I live in.
Me — Saturday, 14 09:46 AM
You can call email it to me?
Me — Saturday, 14 09:48 AM
You call me but I can only talk for five minutes or the house master whips & beats us severely for abusing our phone privileges.
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:20 AM
should i send the info so you will send the money
Me — Saturday, 14 10:21 AM
yes
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:21 AM
okay
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:23 AM
are you sending it today
Me — Saturday, 14 10:23 AM
I am making a rope out of bed sheets to climb out my window in a few minutes so please send it as soon as possible.
Me — Saturday, 14 10:24 AM
yes
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:24 AM
okay
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:26 AM
I will when my uncle is back, can i have your cell phone number i will like to talk to you by text now
Me — Saturday, 14 10:27 AM
+1 503.[redacted]
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:29 AM
i am sending it now and promise you will send it soon
Me — Saturday, 14 10:34 AM
ok, I have to run now because I hear dogs barking & the sounds of ammo magazines clicking in place from the guard tower. please send your uncles info quickly so I can tattoo it on my arm before my laptop battery dies.
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:35 AM
NAME_MICHAEL COTTEN
COUNTRY_USA
STATE_NEW YORK
CITY_STAMFORD
ZIPCODE_12167
QUESTION_ WHAT IS MY DOG NAME
ANSWER_DOOGLE
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:35 AM
that is the info you will send it to okay and try and do it now
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:35 AM
make it fast
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:36 AM
are you on your way sending it
Me — Saturday, 14 10:38 AM
yeah, hang on — I have to dress a couple of wounds. those dogs finally caught up with me!
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:39 AM
how long will it takes you to send it
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:40 AM
and i text you just nwo
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:42 AM
how long will it takes you to send it
Me — Saturday, 14 10:45 AM
I’m not off the island yet. Ruprecht said he’d leave the keys under the seat of the submersible car but I can’t find them! What’ll I do? I threw my extra scuba tank at the dogs because I didn’t think I’d need it!
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:46 AM
so when are you sending it
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:46 AM
?
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:46 AM
?
Me — Saturday, 14 10:48 AM
I think there’s a Western Union office right next to the marina but I may have to swim for it. I’ll let you know when I come out the other side of the tunnel and make it to shore. Wish me luck with only the one oxygen tank!
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:48 AM
okay i wsj
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:49 AM
h wish you luck
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 10:49 AM
so make it send fast
Me — Saturday, 14 11:04 AM
I was ambushed! They had a SEAL team try to intercept me on the far side of the tunnel. I fought back but it’s hard to use Kung fu underwater like they do in the movies – it’s more like trying to punch Chuck Norris in a high speed wind tunnel. But you know, underwater.
Me — Saturday, 14 11:06 AM
When I finally broke through, they followed to shore and tried to grapple with me like those huge guys in the UFC tournaments. But I bested them at every turn. I tucked a $100 bill in to the water proof compartment under the compass of my survival knife so I hope your uncle appreciated what I’ve gone through to get this money to you.
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 02:08 PM
so do you want to send it or not GARY
Me — Saturday, 14 02:17 PM
I was at the Western Union counter when a SWAT team swooped in & wrestled me to the ground before I could let loose with my throwing knives & ninja stars. So they stuck me in an interrogation room with some cat that looked like — I swear to God — Bruce Lee reincarnate! He busted me up with some of his elite Jeet Kune Do moves but I wouldn’t tell them I’d swallowed the hundred dollars or who I was sending it to. Your secrets are safe for now but your uncle will have to wait until I can bust out of my holding cell and pass that crisp Benjamin that’s making it way through my alimentary canal as I type this from my Braille keyboard. Did I already tell you that I’ve been blind since birth?
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 02:18 PM
no just tell me when you will send what is this story
Me — Saturday, 14 02:33 PM
have you ever heard that song “Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots” by the Flaming Lips? That was /totally/ a biographical song written about me when I used to be a young, hirsute Japanese woman. Everything I’ve told you is true but I’m worried that if I can’t shit this money out fast enough that your Uncle Mike won’t consent to gives your hand in marriage. Please send him my love & promise I’ll have his money as soon as I break free from Guantanamo Bay. I’ve been here before so I know their security flaws inside & out.
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 02:37 PM
okay so i will and the money will makes him likes you to be mine so make it fast
Me — Saturday, 14 02:40 PM
I’ve been drinking prune juice since they locked me in here but I just can’t squeeze it out yet. Do you think if I asked them for some laxatives instead of my one phone call that they’d grant my wish? It’s really starting to hurt now — I think I can feel paper cuts from inside my bowels. OMG, I need a medic & a colonic stat!
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 02:41 PM
okay see i want to know when you send the money cause he his asking fr the money now
Betty Lian — Saturday, 14 04:36 PM
hey
Write a mess
