watch me pull a rabbit

From: “Jimmy” <[email protected]>
Date: March 2, 2015 at 8:14:54 PM PST
Subject: introduce our  photo retouching
Reply-To: [email protected]

Do you need photo retouching?
You can use our photo retouching services at any time.

Here are our main offerings : photoshop photo retouching, jewellery image
retouching, ecommerce products photo editing, photo cut out, masking,
clipping Path, beauty and skin retouching, wedding photos editing, also we
have photo background manipulation.

You can choose to send us a photo for free testing to check our quality.
Looking foroward to receive your soonest response.

Thanks,
Jimmy Liu
Email: [email protected]

Dear Jimmy,

I am enclosing sample photos for each category of retouching you specialize in. I am sending them to all three of your email addresses because they are all high priority projects. First, I have sent a Photoshop photo that was bundled with the software as a demo image. It is a picture of four white women eating salads and laughing. If you could change the salad greens to dollar bills, meal worms, and limbs from poor starving children from the suburbs I think it would make more of a statement.

Second, I have a photo of a cubic zirconium ring that I would like to have changed in to a ruby. The photo of the ruby will be on display in the Museum of Anthropomorphic Gemology in Upper Sandusky, Ohio. If you can make the ruby look like it is smiling, frowning, acting surly, or grieving over its lost family of bedrock bretheren I think it has a chance of making real change in our community of heartless gemologists.

Next, I have some ecommerce images from salad world dot com. I would like you to remove all of the brown spots on the lettuce leaves, change the purple leaves to green, and change the green leaves to purple. The cabbages should look more like rutabagas and the beets should look more like carrots. Don’t bother with the yams and sweet potatoes, however, because nobody can remember their differences anyway.

Ok, are you ready for the next one? It’s a photo of me & my husband exchanging vows while skydiving. I’d like you to fix our windswept hair so it looks perfectly coiffed then put us on a raft falling over Niagra Falls as a metaphor for falling in love and leaping into the unknown with your partner. If you can also add pictures of our pet chinchillas, Rocky & Bullwinkle, clapping and dancing excitedly that would make my grandmother just die laughing because she thinks our chinchillas are just the most damn adorable creatures on the planet.

If you can prove your skills with these simple remedial tasks, I have hundreds of customers that are willing to pay top dollar for your services.

kindest regards,
Ruth Westheimer, MD