the plush guardian

Subject: How to protect your plush toy
Date: 10/29/2015 08:27 PM
From: [email protected]

Dear friends,

This is Dancy from a manufacturer specializing in producing Plush toys in China. We have been in this industry for over 18 years. Our advantages:
1.Experience:have 18 years experience in plush toys industry.
2.Custom Products:Our art team will make you layout perfect, and help you get the products you envision .
3.Delivery time:30-45 days normally.
4.Quality Material:The best materials make the best plush and we don’t skimp on sourcing the best material.
5.Certificate :All the products are withLi&Fung factory audit,Disney audit ,ISO certificate ….

Dearest Dancy,

I received your correspondence at a most opportune time — perhaps providence has smiled upon us both. You see, I have envisioned a new line of plush toys based on animal genitalia. The first model will be patterned after 17″ long corkscrew shaped Argentine blue-bill lake duck penises. The next model will be fashioned in the shape of a bean weevil’s member that is covered in sharp spikes. The third design I would like to propose would be inspired by the female kangaroo which has three vaginas and two uteri. The fourth but hopefully not final plushy would be patterned after the bedbug which has a hypodermic penis to pierce the female’s exoskeleton. If you have further designs that you wish to propose — such as the Y-shaped python hemipenis — I would be most eager to hear them. Until then, I eagerly await your reply and a sample of your wares.

kindest regards,
Lord Ruprecht Hinklebottom, III Esq